small talk.
box of chocolates.
taco casserole.
pumpkin ice cream.
"how's rehearsal?"
"how's school?"
"how's colleen?"
"how's choir?"
"when can you go visit and susie in paris?"
"how many AP classes are you in again?""do you take zero period?"
"when do you go to bed?"my own grandma still doesn't know my name. and when she remembers it, she pronounces it "kewwianne." and it makes me want to barf a little.
those awkward references to my mom that just make everyone go stiff for a second.
that fight where my dad insists he's almost fluent in spanish and my grandma disagrees.
my teary-eyed dad recalling the wiz.
remembering how adventurous i was that one night i went out to dinner with my dad. and then another five minutes trying to remember the name of the restaurant and then not remembering.
for about an hour stuck back in that world where i'm shy, reserved, polite, awkward, and cautious. it's strange how uncomfortable i can be around my own family. i'm constantly on guard. making sure not to say the wrong thing. i don't want to get hurt again.
No comments:
Post a Comment