my great adventure has not yet begun.

okay, you can't promise me something for five months and then at the last second change your mind. i get why you're changing your mind. but that doesn't make it okay.

i can't compete against 25 year old fresh out of college just came back from new york talents. i just can't. maybe i'd be able to in 8 years but not now. i'm proud of myself for holding my own. but i wanted to prove i could be better than them.

you said my shoulders might not be big enough just yet. and i had to fight back the tears. i want to believe that i can do anything i ever want to do. but you're right. i'm not good enough.

that being said, i would have done the exact same thing. minus the promise. they were better than me and i would have chose them too. i'm just disappointed is all.

even if you had kept your promise, i would feel really bad about it. you shouldn't have made that promise. you know it. i know. you led me on.

do i settle for something less than what i originally wanted? or do i just forget the whole thing altogether?

just like you said, the world of theatre is full of heartbreak and heartache. it will be like this for my entire life. do i have the emotional capability to deal with rejection day in and day out? but as they say, as one door closes, another one opens. i just hope that's the case with this situation.

"I have fought, I have cried. I've been broke, I've been bruised. Yet at the end of the day this life is what I still choose."